Because historians will look on this weekend as the days the Royals’ fortune changed, I feel compelled to document what exactly happened in Boston and carried into Cleveland.
It started, as most Royals stories do, with a fuckup.
It was Monday night, July 25. The Royals were beginning a 4-game series with the Red Sox. The game started with high expectations, or low expectations depending on your point of view. The starting pitcher was Kyle Davies and sports talk show host, Danny Parkins had begun a game called the Kyle Davies Drinking Game. The drinking game is documented here. But there was a problem. Kyle Davies wasn’t pitching like… Kyle Davies. He was pitching well. We weren’t getting drunk.
And that’s when the game went into extra innings. My wife decided to go to bed, but I’d have none of it. Already delayed 2 1/2 hours by rain, the game now stretched past 11 pm with the teams knotted at 1-1.
Finally, at midnight, the television screen went black and was replaced with Streetball. The first few minutes of the Streetball game featured someone called “Bone Crusher,” so, logically Twitter exploded by marrying both the Royals and Streetball. #RoyalsStreetballNames exploded with nicknames for our Royals:
- @FakeNedYost – Nate Adcock = Swingin’ Dick
- @BrianMcGannon – Chris Getz = Slappy McPappy
- @BrianMcGannon – Alex Gordon = Corn Hustler (also known as A1)
- @michaelengel – Frank White = Chuckles
- @michaelengel – Greg Holland = Dirty South
- @pcbearcat – Mike Aviles = Feast or Famine
- @theKCEye – Tim Collins = White Mugsy
- @djphoto76 – Jeff Francouer = Crazy Eyes
Then, it happened. @pcbearcat, a writer for the St. Joe Newspaper, coined the term that will forever change the game of baseball.

Don't fuck with Country Breakfast
Then, Friday night, he hit two homers as #CountryBreakfast began trending on Twitter. In addition, he was involved in a near bean-ball incident with the Indians.
- Replace the Hot Dog Race with a Ham, Sausage and Bacon race
- Replace the water in the fountains with sausage gravy
- Billy’s walkup music changed to the sound of sizzling bacon
- Opening band: Country Breakfast – playing the smoothest southern rock
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