Letâ€™s turn on the Wayback Machine and dial it back to 1991. Operation Desert Storm began in Iraq that January night – back when CNN was still a reputable news source. The Kansas City Royals were only 6 years removed from their first World Championship and were looking to add a second under skipper John Wathan, Shortstop Kurt Stillwell and Left Fielder Kirk Gibson. And Saturday morning television featured such programs as Back to the Future: The Animated Series and Super Mario World.
It was a simpler time. If youâ€™ll also recall, it was 1991 when professional Boxer, and Heavyweight Champion, Mike Tyson was arrested for raping 18-year-old Desiree Washington. Tyson was found guilty in 1992 and went on to serve three years of a six year sentence in hte Plainfield Correctional Facility in Indiana.
Since 1991, a lot has changed in the world. Reality television has become popular. The Royals are still looking for their second World Championship and Saturday Morning cartoons are all but a thing of the past, being replaced by the Cartoon Network. The world in many ways became a much colder place after 9/11 and entertainment has, arguably, never been more un-entertaining.
Since Mike Tyson pinned Desiree Washington down on an Indianapolis hotel bed and raped her as she pleaded for him to stop, Tyson has returned to boxing. He has also completely rehabilitated his image to the point of exceeding his fame that he had in the 1980â€™s when he pummeled all those who would come before him including Michael Spinks. In the past 10 years, Tyson has lived off of his name, appearing in movies like The Hangover Series, and How I Met Your Mother. â€œFamous for being famous.â€ Tyson, who still has issues with rage (he said in a 2003 interview with Fox News on whether he raped Washington, â€œI really wish I did now. But now I really do want to rape her.â€) will star in an animated series, Mike Tyson Mysteries.
Hereâ€™s a brief thumbnail of the series:
In the new animated comedy series Mike Tyson Mysteries, Mike Tyson is taking the fight from the boxing ring to the streetsâ€¦ by solving mysteries! Armed with a magical tattoo on his face and a trusty associate by his side â€” a talking pigeon â€” if you have a problem that needs solving, Iron Mike is in your corner. The series incorporates live-action appearances featuring Mighty Mike himself, and the gloves come off as the former heavyweight champ and his fowl-mouthed partner gear up for weekly adventures as they put unsolved mysteries â€” like how to defeat a super computer at chess or why a famous author/werewolf canâ€™t finish his novel â€” down for the count.
Itâ€™s got a parrot!. Admittedly, itâ€™s on the adult-themed â€œAdult Swimâ€ which is the after-hours portion of Cartoon Network, but Iâ€™m still stumped at how this convicted felon just keeps getting nine more lives.
Tyson joins a long line of those who are â€œFamous for being famousâ€ like the Kardashians and Paris Hilton. Television (and the world) would be better off if it didnâ€™t have them on it.
Mike Tyson is a douchebag. He deserves an animated cartoon just about as much as I do. Except I didnâ€™t rape anyone. Maybe if I had made poorer choices back in 1991, Iâ€™d find myself living in Vegas starring in movies and cartoons, too!