A special edition of the Fake Ned Minute – for the last day of the regular season. Well, it’s the last day of the season for Royals fans.
Fake Ned Minute – Special Edition – Wednesday September 28, 2011
So here we find ourselves on the final day of the 2011 baseball season. Â Well, that is if youâ€™re a Royals fan. Itâ€™s been 26 years since the Kansas City Royals have seen any sort of post-season play. As luck would have it, the only year we had a fartâ€™s chance of the playoffs, was 1994, when Major League Baseball decided it would rather cancel the season than have its Royals play in October.
But… do you smell that? Â Itâ€™s the smell of change… or maybe just somebody sprayed a little â€œnew car smellâ€ in the back of the Fiero. So, I guess itâ€™s time to get excited. But letâ€™s just recall that itâ€™s been TWENTY SIX YEARS. TWENTY. SIX. YEARS. of futility. Of dropped fly balls. Of not knowing how many outs there are. Of outfielders leaping for a wall thatâ€™s still 10 feet behind them. Of managers showering with their clothes on. Of milk and cookies and tequila. Â Of being reminded that it can ALWAYS get worse.
I want to get excited. I do. But Iâ€™m tired and Iâ€™ve seen this train come into the station before. Itâ€™s all shiny. Thereâ€™s a new load of coal. Thereâ€™s a new conductor who seems to bellow out ALL ABOARD. Â What makes this one different?
So, 2012, you canâ€™t get here fast enough. You are Christmas morning and we are kids who have been beaten all year. We stand ready to open up our playoff presents – our over 500 records and our shot at a world series.But if you simply give us another damn pair of socks, Iâ€™m going to live with Grandma.This has been your Fake Ned Minute.