For some reason this summer, Iâ€™ve gone to a lot of movies. Iâ€™ve had to travel some for business, so Iâ€™d catch a flick here or there, and then thereâ€™ve been quite a few good ones my family and I have wanted to see. So weâ€™ve spent quite a bit of time at the biggest movie house in Platte County, the AMC Barrywoods 24 off of Barry Road.
Itâ€™s a nice movie theater, but after a movie or two, you really start to notice the Star Trek Enterprise-sized hole being burned in your wallet. Itâ€™s bad enough that tickets are $10 or more for each movie. (My son, conveniently, doesnâ€™t quality for the â€œkidsâ€ tickets anymore.) And then, of COURSE you have to get the popcorn and the sodas, conveniently delivered in their own gasoline-sized trucks that just back up towards you and pour gallons into your mouth. Add to that the Junior Mints and youâ€™re well past the $40 limit.
But recently, thereâ€™s been another installation into the AMC. Perhaps youâ€™ve seen it. Itâ€™s a mini-sized bar just past where you get your tickets. Thatâ€™s right. If you still had any money left, you could order a $10 martini or a $12 vodka tonic.
I realize that more and more people stay home to watch movies on their own quadra-sonic 5D televisions. But who is the target audience for this? The mom with three young kids in tow who all want to see â€œPlanesâ€, but not before Mommy does a body shot of tequila? Maybe Dad, heâ€™s taking his two kids to see the new Tom Cruise movie (seriously, save your money on this one, trust me) but just canâ€™t make it past the opening credits before he has to duck out to down an ice cold Budweiser?
Hey, listen. I get it. You canâ€™t be a â€œfunctional alcoholicâ€ without the â€œfunâ€ and sometimes that means going out to see the latest Katherine Heigl rom-com, but my guess is that youâ€™re well past buying $15 frozen margaritas and simply carry a pull of Seagrams in that flask tucked in your sock.
I suppose AMC is just making wads of money off of this endeavor. Maybe it will catch on. Heading to COSTCO? Donâ€™t forget the bar where you can do peppermint schnapps shots. Itâ€™s in the same isle as the gallon of mayonnaise. Or maybe the microbrewery inside the Jiffy Lube. Gotta lubricate that liver while youâ€™re lubricating your chassis, after all! And when, oh when, will this invention come to City Council meetings?
â€œMister Speaker, I address you this evening to say… SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!! EVERYBODY!!!! I yield back the balance of my time.â€
Well, I sure hope the AMC Movie Theater Bar idea is successful because I know that I might not make it through the next Tom Cruise movie without a Long Island Iced Tea.