We Can Twerk It Out

Holy cow, did you see Miley Cyrus the other night? What the hell is happening to our children, and our entertainers?

If you missed it, or if you’ve been living under a rock, or if you don’t have the Internet (why?), then let me recap. Miley Cyrus was on the MTV Music Awards a couple weeks back and she did one of the most lurid, sexually suggestive dances I’ve ever seen. This was society’s little girl from the Hannah Montana Disney show. To see her up there gyrating around was flat filthy.

The things she did to a foam finger, folks.  Well, let’s just say it had me reaching for my channel changer. And then later for my keyboard after I watched it a couple of times online.  And then later that night on the news. And then when I saw it on my coworker’s computer. And those few times on Twitter when I saw it again.

This is the beginning of the end, people. This is where society turns the corner and travels due south into that hot place with all the demons.  And it’s not just me that thinks so.  Check out these quotes:

“…[kind of music] is deplorable, a rancid smelling aphrodisiac…It fosters almost totally negative and destructive reactions in young people.”  See? Miley is negative and destructive.

Or how about this one: “Obviously, [she] reinforces everything absurd and offensive.” EVERYTHING OFFENSIVE, PEOPLE.

“Beside the liquor and the drugs which always seem to accompany such an event, the thing that distresses me even more, is the spiritual corruption that can be involved.”

Quite simply, this type of music is the beginning of juvenile delinquency and the end of society as we know it.

These are smart intelligent people who agree with me about Miley… or Hannah… or… wait…

That first quote was by the great Frank Sinatra about Elvis Presley in 1950.  Wait a second. Elvis was the King of Rock and Roll?  Of course, before he was the King, he was the Devil following his appearance on the Ed Sullivan show that refused to show his “hip thrusts.”

The second quote was by Steven Morrissey, you simply know him as Morrisey, of The Smiths, and he was talking about Madonna.  You see, Madonna was Miley Cyrus before Miley Cyrus. And Elvis was Miley before Madonna.

That final quote was from the Reverend in the movie Footloose.  I just liked the quote.

So, to recap, as much as you want to agree with me about Miley Cyrus being the end of culture and society, you’re about 70 years too late, at least.  You missed out on the righteous indignation movement about the time you snuck out of your bedroom window, or you listened to your first Beatles album (they were arrested for DRUGS once!), or that one time you danced super close with a boy.

Miley is but the latest in a long, long, LONG line of exhibitionists that include Lady Gaga, and David Bowie, and Elvis, and Madonna and John Lennon.  They don’t give two craps what you think about the performance. Their goal was for you to watch and talk about the performance.

As if it wasn’t apparent from her dance, I’d say Hannah Montana is all grown up now.

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