JoePo Has Got To Be a Cokehead

Well, this is going to serve as my second blog post. So, that makes me a professional blogger. I feel this qualifies me to comment on others in the blogosphere. I’m setting my sights on Joe Posnanski… who is clearly on crack, or cocaine or something.

I’ve spent the better part of an hour working on this blog here in Surprise, Arizona (Spring Training Home of the American League Champion Texas Rangers… and the Kansas City Royals, the Major League Affiliate of the AA Texas League Champion Northwest Arkansas Naturals) and I’m exhausted. That’s two friggin’ blog posts. I’ve been reading Posnanski’s blog for years and I need a nap by the end of the second paragraph. How can one person generate that much “sunshine out of your ass” verbiage? How is that humanly possible? My hypothesis? Cocaine. Amphetamines. Speedballs. The good stuff. Not that Independence Avenue crap that Willie Aikens pushed.

And if that wasn’t enough, you can read him for his day job at Sports Illustrated and every once in a while he still writes for the Star and then there’s all his books. Dear god. This is insane. The Internet was built to be an unlimited repository of information, but nobody EVER anticipated Poz.

I guess what I’m saying is that nobody should expect that much drivel out of this blog. As I type this I’m calling room service and an asian hooker. This is word 230 and I’m going to need to take a nap immediately following this and probably get a massage from Seitzer (#nohomo). Plus at some point, I need to hire a new base coach, weigh into GMDM on trading Greinke and I’m always working on my bonzai trees…

In Bud Light Commercial fashion… “Here’s to you Mr. Coke up all night so you can write 4,000 words on Buck O’Neil’s ball sack Guy…”

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