Fake Ned Minute – September 28, 2011

A special edition of the Fake Ned Minute – for the last day of the regular season. Well, it’s the last day of the season for Royals fans.

Fake Ned Minute – Special Edition – Wednesday September 28, 2011

So here we find ourselves on the final day of the 2011 baseball season.  Well, that is if you’re a Royals fan. It’s been 26 years since the Kansas City Royals have seen any sort of post-season play. As luck would have it, the only year we had a fart’s chance of the playoffs, was 1994, when Major League Baseball decided it would rather cancel the season than have its Royals play in October.

But… do you smell that?  It’s the smell of change… or maybe just somebody sprayed a little “new car smell” in the back of the Fiero. So, I guess it’s time to get excited. But let’s just recall that it’s been TWENTY SIX YEARS. TWENTY. SIX. YEARS. of futility. Of dropped fly balls. Of not knowing how many outs there are. Of outfielders leaping for a wall that’s still 10 feet behind them. Of managers showering with their clothes on. Of milk and cookies and tequila.  Of being reminded that it can ALWAYS get worse.

I want to get excited. I do. But I’m tired and I’ve seen this train come into the station before. It’s all shiny. There’s a new load of coal. There’s a new conductor who seems to bellow out ALL ABOARD.  What makes this one different?

So, 2012, you can’t get here fast enough. You are Christmas morning and we are kids who have been beaten all year. We stand ready to open up our playoff presents – our over 500 records and our shot at a world series.But if you simply give us another damn pair of socks, I’m going to live with Grandma.This has been your Fake Ned Minute.

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