Danny Parkins Is So White…

Nobody in this photo has ever been laid.

The genesis is irrelevant. It began, as most great Twitter hashtags do, out of the blue, out of left field, from the black lagoon.

Regardless, it happened. Deal with it.  Here’s a summary of some of the best from last night… It began with a simple meme:

DANNY PARKINS IS SO WHITE…

  • …he can’t go out after Labor Day.
  • …Stormtroopers dress up as Danny Parkins for Halloween
  • @travdawgks: …Ron Howard looks black
  • …CBS shows a picture of @DannyParkins under “Target Demographic”
  • …is flanked by @getnickwright and @cdotharrison at Halloween and they call it “Oreo Cookie”
  • @jfishSOTW: …he is endorsed by Rick Perry.
  • …my 3-way lamp has Low, High and @DannyParkins
  • …there are over 2,100 @DannyParkins swatches at Home Depot.
  • @EricBinKC: …when stadium lights go out, the game can’t restart until @DannyParkins shows up.
  • @SloshKlingler: …JC Pennys has a @DannyParkins sale every spring
  • @EricBinKC …he makes a Pottery Barn catalog look like Jet Magazine.
  • @ChuckNeinas …he got a full ride to #BYU
  • …when @DannyParkins plays baseball, he has to be rubbed with a special mud to take off the shine.
  • @JustinIvey: …NASCAR is getting rid of the white flag and changing it to the @DannyParkins flag
  • @jfishSOTW: …Alright, enough #DannyParkinsIsSoWhite jokes. He’s trying to sit quietly in his condo while watching “Hart of Dixie”. Leave him alone.
  • @falderk: …if you had a bench full of people like @DannyParkins what would you call it? The NBA.
  • @dubcormode: …he can’t even jump to a conclusion
  • @jfishSOTW: …@getnickwright refers to him as “The Man”.
  • …he makes Ben Folds look like Denzel Washington.
  • @EricBinKC: …he once made a drum machine lose the beat.
  • …he needs Barbara Billingsley to interpret when he talks to @getnickwright. #OhStewardessISpeakJive
  • @fakelazlothebuz: …his skin tone is “Seamen”
  • @fakelazlothebuz: …he makes Elton John look like Snoop Dogg
  • @JustinIvey: …when he goes on metro sports they have to use flour as make up.
  • …he thinks Hockey is “too ethnic.”
  • Danny Parkins. Gangster.

    …when the gal at Gates yells “Hi, may I help you?” @DannyParkins wets his pants.

  • …#Royals Super Fan Chris pulled him aside and said “damn, son, get some sun.”
  • @ChicagoKirk7: …he shares the same audience as Larry the Cable Guy
  • …that when he does his #RedMonday show, it immediately turns into #PinkMonday.
  • @TMTraughber: …he orders the fish at “go ckicken go”
  • …Paul McCartney is kicking himself that he didn’t come up with the idea for The @DannyParkins Album.
Here’s to you, Danny Parkins!! Salut!

2 Comments

  1. kcredsox

    The best one by far:

    …when the gal at Gates yells “Hi, may I help you?” @DannyParkins wets his pants.

  2. Easz88

    Damn guys, after reading most of those, when you see the picture of Danny there near the end, even it looks hurt! That shouldn’t even be possible.

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