Cocktails at the Silver Screen

For some reason this summer, I’ve gone to a lot of movies. I’ve had to travel some for business, so I’d catch a flick here or there, and then there’ve been quite a few good ones my family and I have wanted to see.  So we’ve spent quite a bit of time at the biggest movie house in Platte County, the AMC Barrywoods 24 off of Barry Road.

It’s a nice movie theater, but after a movie or two, you really start to notice the Star Trek Enterprise-sized hole being burned in your wallet.  It’s bad enough that tickets are $10 or more for each movie. (My son, conveniently, doesn’t quality for the “kids” tickets anymore.)  And then, of COURSE you have to get the popcorn and the sodas, conveniently delivered in their own gasoline-sized trucks that just back up towards you and pour gallons into your mouth.  Add to that the Junior Mints and you’re well past the $40 limit.

But recently, there’s been another installation into the AMC. Perhaps you’ve seen it.  It’s a mini-sized bar just past where you get your tickets.  That’s right.  If you still had any money left, you could order a $10 martini or a $12 vodka tonic.

I realize that more and more people stay home to watch movies on their own quadra-sonic 5D televisions. But who is the target audience for this?  The mom with three young kids in tow who all want to see “Planes”, but not before Mommy does a body shot of tequila?  Maybe Dad, he’s taking his two kids to see the new Tom Cruise movie (seriously, save your money on this one, trust me) but just can’t make it past the opening credits before he has to duck out to down an ice cold Budweiser?

Hey, listen. I get it. You can’t be a “functional alcoholic” without the “fun” and sometimes that means going out to see the latest Katherine Heigl rom-com, but my guess is that you’re well past buying $15 frozen margaritas and simply carry a pull of Seagrams in that flask tucked in your sock.

I suppose AMC is just making wads of money off of this endeavor.  Maybe it will catch on. Heading to COSTCO? Don’t forget the bar where you can do peppermint schnapps shots. It’s in the same isle as the gallon of mayonnaise.  Or maybe the microbrewery inside the Jiffy Lube.  Gotta lubricate that liver while you’re lubricating your chassis, after all! And when, oh when, will this invention come to City Council meetings?

“Mister Speaker, I address you this evening to say… SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!! EVERYBODY!!!!  I yield back the balance of my time.”

Well, I sure hope the AMC Movie Theater Bar idea is successful because I know that I might not make it through the next Tom Cruise movie without a Long Island Iced Tea.

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