Landmark Column

On Lying

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Originally appeared in the Platte County Landmark It seems like only yesterday – but was, in fact, decades ago. A young Chris Kamler walked behind his mother, who likely had two or three other children in tow either on her… (READ MORE)

Lines

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Column reprinted from the Platte County Landmark If you’ve ever been in the armed forces, bought groceries, or voted in a Presidential election, you’ve become very familiar with lines. Heck, if you’ve ever been to an amusement park, a really… (READ MORE)

Deflection

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A copy of my column from last week’s Platte County Landmark. You can get a full year of the Landmark delivered weekly for only $15. Call 816-858-2313 and ask for the Fake Ned special. It’s been a terrible week for… (READ MORE)

New Deductions

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This first appeared in the Platte County Landmark in early March. By this time in the year, I’d like to be able to sit here and tell you that I’m all done with my taxes. I’m not. For whatever reason,… (READ MORE)

Super Bowl 75

Confetti shoots into the air after the Denver Broncos beat the Carolina Panthers 24-10 in Super Bowl 50 at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara on Feb. 7, 2016. (Dai Sugano/Bay Area News Group)

This column first appeared in the Platte County Landmark on February 3, 2016 There’s a phrase in many corners of the Internet and in the media that means making a prediction so bold that it literally melts the plastic sitting… (READ MORE)

Ask a Fat Guy

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First appeared in the Platte County Landmark on January 6, 2016 Stores have had Christmas decorations for sale since October, and as they begin to take them down and put out Easter goods, there’s a small sliver of time. Let’s… (READ MORE)

The Necktie

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This column first appeared in The Platte County Landmark on December 9, 2015. Today’s column is a tale of sadness and woe. It is a tale of aching and suffering. It is a tale of sorrow, and angst, and immeasurable pain…. (READ MORE)

Trump Card

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Reprinted from my Rambling Moron column that appears weekly in the Platte County Landmark. Donald Trump should be the next President of the United States. There. I’m on the record. Absolutely. Let’s elect him to Congress and the Supreme Court,… (READ MORE)

Feels Like the First Time

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Reprinted from my weekly column at the Platte County Landmark As a writer, you are taught to look for new ways to say the same thing. You want to find colorful adjectives, similes and metaphors to paint word pictures for… (READ MORE)

It’s Time

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Originally appeared in The Platte County Landmark. It’s nearly impossible to get everybody at my work to do something. When it’s “casual Friday,” there are still people that wear a suit. When it’s ham and bean soup in the cafeteria,… (READ MORE)