I contribute a weekly column to the Platte County Landmark under the “Rambling Moron” name. It’s a great Northland Newspaper and well worth a subscription. The following is an copy of my article which appeared in the 12/28/12 edition – printed with permission.
BE PROUD MIGHTY CHIEFS FAN
Mercifully, it’s coming to an end. This weekend marks the final Chiefs game of the year. Judging by attendance at Arrowhead, this may come as a surprise. What a disaster.
Following the final whistle, it is expected that Head Coach Romeo Crennel and General Manager Scott Pioli will both be shown the door. But we should pause and marvel in just what an incredible job they’ve done completely screwing up one of the greatest franchises in the NFL. I mean, really. Nice job out of you guys.
The “Patriot Way” which Pioli was said to embody, merely meant walking the floors of your office building with the Darth Vader music playing in the background. He called staff meetings to berate them about wrappers left in the hallway. His regime was marked by intimidation. Everybody loves a jerk if you’re winning, but if you’re not, then folks around here find a way to expose you for what you are. The Patriot Way/Scott Pioli regime here in Kansas City ended with the same number of Super Bowl rings that I currently own.
And how about Romeo Crennel? He reminds me of the movie “A League of Their Own” when they show a fuzzy, far away shot of Marla Hooch, the team’s less than good looking outfielder. “There’s Marla Hooch… What a hitter!” as the camera never does zoom into see how ugly she is. Same goes for Romeo. Not for his portly appearance, but because at a 30,000 foot level, he’s everything the Chiefs wanted in a head coach. He was a staunch supporter of the players, “a players coach.” He was personable and funny. Only thing is that he can’t coach. Whoops. It’s akin to promoting the fry cook at the local Wendy’s to store manager and finding out that he can’t count change back to a dollar.
Also expected to be gone is the team’s starting quarterback (at least at the beginning of the year) Matt Cassel. This man led the Patriots to the playoffs one season. He literally save someone from drowning. He looks like a quarterback right out of central casting. And this year he turned to wet sand as he looked confused, played poorly and was finally benched for an even lesser QB, Brady Quinn. I’ve always liked Cassel. I think the Chiefs stink finally caught up with him and exposed him as a terrible Quarterback. Of course, that’s until he signs with some other team and becomes an MVP candidate. That wouldn’t surprise me either.
The man who might’ve been able to deflect at least a few of the arrows, owner Clark Hunt, found solace anywhere but in front of a microphone. And, apparently, did the same amount of steering as a riderless horse. His leadership was found lacking; something his father was never at a loss for. And now I’m curious why we should suddenly think Hunt can now suddenly hire a new GM after hiring such a trainwreck in Pioli?
But most importantly, the fans should just look back on this year and really marvel at what the Chiefs have been able to accomplish here. Blowout losses. Historically comical quarterback play. Whiny wide receivers. Bumbling and stumbling that would make a Keystone Cops movie look like The Notebook. And the cherry on the cake – a murder-suicide by one of their players. Nice job, Chiefs. Good effort.
You’ve managed to make Kansas City completely forget about the 15 years of suck that has been the drain-circling Royals. You’ve managed to get this city to not come out to games to drink beer. You’ve even managed to get this team to embrace soccer. Well done.
So this weekend, sit back and really enjoy the final Chiefs game of the year by embracing it for what it is… the worst team in professional sports having the worst year in professional sports history.
It’s hard to imagine anything could top this year. A UFO would have to land at midfield during the kickoff to the Raiders game spilling out miniature chocolate John Madden’s to even come close. But, this being Kansas City, we never say never.