The worst kept secret in Kansas City Sports Talk now has a due date – it’s March 19th, 2012.

The details are still being kept under wraps, but something is definitely happening with the 610 Sports lineup on March 19.  It’ll be graduation day for at least one B-list 610 staffer and may likely include a bigger shakeup.

Here’s how I break it down…

MOST LIKELY TO HAPPEN:

  • 6:00 am to 10:00 am - Fescoe In The Morning – Bob Fescoe moves his start time back (he normally starts at 5:30) and goes up against the entire 6-10 “Border Patrol”
  • 10:00 am to 2:00 pm – The Danny Parkins Show with Carrington Harrison – CDot gets a promotion and called up to the Major Leagues. He has shown a good chemistry and seems to have “won” the rotating co-host carousel with Danny over the past several months.  Jim Rome is out and 610 goes “live and local” all day.
  • 2:00 pm to 6:00 pm – What’s Right with Nick Wright – Nick’s flagship show remains unchanged, although he’ll have to beat up on Mark Carman more since one of his punching bags (CDot) is now gone.
  • 6:00 – ?? – Royals Pregame/Royals Baseball/Night Shift with Mark Carman and Jared Carter – This timeslot will change frequently depending on the Boys in Blue for the next 6 months with the AAA squad of Carman and Carter cleaning up the trash on off days.

MODERATELY LIKELY TO HAPPEN

  • 5:30 – 9:00 – Fescoe in the Morning – Meh. How that show is higher in the ratings over 810 literally keeps me awake at night.
  • 9:00 – 11:00 – The Day Shift with Mark Carman and Robert Ford – This could be some bastardization of Parkins’ old slot where you’d put up and coming voices to serve as a breeding ground. Maybe even include former 810 employee Curtis Kitchen or you might add a former player such as Bill Maas or a Royal who doesn’t say “um, ya know” 400 times and it’d be like the old 9-11 show Crunch Time on WHB. You might even see a new female voice?
  • 11:00 – 2:00 – The Danny Parkins Show with Carrington Harrison. Danny moves into Jim Rome’s slot and Jim can only find solace with his racehorse.
  • 2:00 – 6:00 – What’s Right with Nick Wright – Nick would need to find a new stable of voices since Carman and CDot would be on their own shows.  That would leave Jared Carter to deal with a metric ton of insults, barbs, towel snapping and slander.  That’s simply too much for any one man to handle.  New voices could include Robert Ford, Loud Phone Shawn (from the Big Gig) or even their weekend board op, Ty Fisher (from Soundtrack of the Week fame) – although you’d need a pretty good dump button for that one.
  • 6:00 – ?? – Royals Baseball with Fake Ned Yost and Rex Hudler

ONLY 1% CHANCE OF THIS HAPPENING

  • 6:00 – 10:00 – Four hours every morning would be filled with the gutteral screaming voice of Bob Fescoe as he is lowered repeatedly into a vat of hydrochloric acid filled with acid-mutated piranah as they chew the flesh off of his naked and ravaged body.  Every 20 minutes Josh Klingler would chum the waters as he reads American League Baseball Scores.
  • 10:00 – 2:00 – The Carrington Harrison Love Train – This would be the first “video” radio show by 610 Sports as Carrington sits high on a throne as he reads the sports news of the day. Half-naked women dance below him as he throws grapes to them.  The show is sports themed as many of the “dancers” are named after Kansas City athletes. The 11:00 am hour is the “Power Hour” – as a naked and body acne’d Danny Parkins picks one of the dancers, whether it’s Yuni, Getzy or Palko and is “serviced” by the nubile maidens – all the while singing the Syracuse fight song.
  • 2:00 – 6:00 – The Jared Carter Show – In perhaps the strangest move by 610 Sports, the high-pitched Carter would swap roles. Jared would awkwardly read headlines while an onslaught of expletives and slurs would be going on the other side of the glass as Producer, Nick Wright is left to figure out which button Sam Mellinger is holding on or which button plays the KU Fight song.  The 4 hour daily show would likely just be a series of BEEPS and taken off the air after a couple weeks due to FCC fines.
  • 6:00 – ?? – Smoke ‘N Fire Cooking with Denny Matthews
  • 10:00 pm – 10:15 pm – Royals Baseball condensed to include only Chris Getz at bats.